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The 'Firm'
The vast majority of the work involved in the running of the Zenobi empire
was undertaken by yours truly (JW) but some of the other tasks (such as production of 'loading-screens' and the coding of
the 'tape-loading-system' for the likes of 'From Out Of A Dark Night Sky' etc) were dealt with 'out-of-house' by more gifted
people .. thanks to Sean, Shaun, Kez and Graham (you know what bit you did and how much I appreciated it all).
However the greatest unsung hero just has to be Ann .. without her unflagging
support (and financial genius) none of it would ever have come to fruition. She allowed me to live out my dreams and for that
I will always be grateful.
The Thinking Behind It All
Initially Zenobi Software was simply a means to get me off the dole and
back into earning a crust or two, but once the productive side of things was in full swing and the urge to 'write' had taken
hold I was unable to turn my back on any of it. I quickly realised that relying on the games I was personally writing to generate
enough cash to keep me in the style I was accustomed to was not going to work, so I then took the decision to publish the
works of other authors .. easier said than done. I scoured the pages of the computer magazines of the day in order to find
out just 'who' was writing 'what' and then took it upon myself to offer said authors a deal. Eventually, once word got around,
the authors would approach me first and ask if I would like to publish their games .. Zenobi Software had arrived!!
From there on in it was simply just a case of 'playesting' every game that
was submitted to me (and there were 1000s of them! - just ask Terry Taylor) before selecting the best of the bunch and putting
them out on the Zenobi label.
Sadly the old Spectrum eventually turned its toes up and the authors who
were willing to write for the new 16 bit machines grew thinner and thinner on the ground, so it was time to call a halt to
the production of 'new' games and bid farewell to some old friends.
But it is hard to throw away nearly 15 years hard labour, so the legendary
'ZENOBI CD' was born. Originally only available to customers who had already purchased more than 100 games, it eventually
went on the open market to all and sundry. It is still available even to this day.
The First Adventure I Ever Played
Over the years numerous enquiries have been received regarding which adventure-game
was the FIRST one I ever played .. so in order to set the record straight, I am not only going to tell you but I am also going
to give you the opportunity to play it for yourself .. albeit with the aid of a 'ZX81' emulator.
The game in question was 'The Black Crystal' (written &
produced by Carnell Software). Here it is in 'emulation form ....
BlackCrystal(SingleSided).p.zip
zx81.zip
BlackCrystal(SingleSided)_Front.jpg
Just for the record I have also included a scan of the original cover ...
ZENOBI SOFTWARE ADVENTURE-GAMES
Author,Game
A.Woods/P.Page,Stalker (128k only)
Alan Davis,House On The Tor
Alan Devey,Dungeons Of Maldread
Alan Devey,Teenage Emergency
Alex Williams,Boyd File
Clive Wilson,Venom
Clive Wilson,The Darkest Road
Clive
Wilson,See-Kaa Of Assiah
Clive Wilson,The Time Of Dread
Clive Wilson,Kobyashi Ag'Kwo
Clive Wilson,The
Unborn One
Clive Wilson,ZZZZ
Clive Wilson,The Little Wandering Guru
Clive Wilson,Kobyashi Naru
Clive
Wilson,Nightwing
Clive Wilson,The Shard of Inovar
Clive Wilson,Demigod
Clive Wilson,The Tears Of
The Moon
Craig Davies,Murder Hunt
Craig Davies,Quest For The Holy
Something
Craig Davies,Murder Hunt 2
Dave Hawkins,Stranded (48k and 128k)
Dennis Francombe,The Song of Taliesin
Dennis Francombe,The
Golden Sword Of Bhakhor
Dennis Francombe,The Fisher King
Dennis Francombe,Perseus
Dennis Francombe,Diarmid
Dennis
Francombe,Hob's Hoard
Dented Designs,Game Without A Name
Diane Rice,The Black Tower
Diane Rice,The Twelve Days Of
Christmas
Diane Rice,Serpentine Tale
Edwina Brown,Hide and Seek
Edwina Brown,Feline Fancy
Fergus McNeill,Bored Of The Rings
Fergus McNeill,The Boggit
Fergus
McNeill,Robin Of Sherlock
Fergus McNeill,The Big Sleaze
Fergus McNeill,Sherwood Forest
Fergus McNeill,The
Dragonstar Trilogy
Fergus McNeill,Quest For The Holy Joystick
Fergus McNeill,Return Of The Joystick
8th Day Software,Four Minutes To Midnight
8th Day Software,Cuddles
8th
Day Software,Quann Tulla
8th Day Software,Ice Station Zero
8th Day Software,In Search Of Angels
8th
Day Software,Faerie
8th Day Software,H.R.H.
8th Day Software,Earthshock
8th Day Software,A Harvesting
Moon
8th Day Software,Ronnie Goes To Hollywood
8th Day Software,Weaver Of Her Dreams
St.Brides,The Secret Of St.Brides
St.Brides,The Snow Queen
St.Brides,The
Very Big Cave Adventure
St.Brides,Bugsy
St.Brides,Jack The Ripper
St.Brides,The White Feather Cloak
St.Brides,Silverwolf
St.Brides,The
Dogboy
Precision Software,The Extricator
Precision Software,The
Energem Enigma
Walter Pooley,Desert Island
Walter Pooley,Castle Adventure
Walter
Pooley,Mansion Quest
Walter Pooley,Mission X
Pegasus Developments,The Hermitage
Gareth Pitchford,Man About
The House
Gareth Pitchford,Search For The Nether Regions
Gareth Pitchford,Microfair Madness (128k only)
Gareth
Pitchford,P.C.W.
Gareth Pitchford,The Lone Electron
Gareth Pitchford,Get Me To The Church On Time
Gareth
Pitchford,Quest For The Holy Snail
Gareth Pitchford,First Past The Post
Garry Cappuccini,Crack City
Geoff Lynas,April 7th
George Hoyle,Balrog's DayOut
George Hoyle,The Emerald Elf
George
Hoyle,Fistful Of Necronomicons
George Hoyle,Brian The Novice Barbarian
George Hoyle,The Trouble With Trolls
George
Hoyle,Seaside Sorcery
Ian Eveleigh,The Lamberley Mystery
Ian Osborne,Sam's Unexcellent Adventure
Ian S.Brown,Bog Of Brit
Ian S.Brown,The Menagerie
J.Scott/S.Boyd,For Pete's Sake
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Lycanthropy
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Red
Alert
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Escape From Hodgkins' Manor
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Limelight
J.Scott/S.Boyd,The Beginning
Of The End
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Labour Pains
J.Scott/S.Boyd,The End Is Nigh
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Why Is The
World Round Anyway?
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Toddler Trouble
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Mutiny - The Final Chapter (128k only)
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Mutiny
- Episode One (128k only)
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Loose Ends
J.Scott/S.Boyd,All In A Day's Work
J.Scott/S.Boyd,Murder
Mystery Weekend
Tartan Tam,The Gordello Incident (parts 1&2)
Tartan Tam,Double
Agent
Jack Lockerby,The Enchanted Cottage
Jack Lockerby,Davy Jones'
Locker
Jack Lockerby,Murder-He said (128k only)
Jack Lockerby,The Domes Of Sha
Jack Lockerby,Theme
Park UK
Jack Lockerby,The House
Jack Lockerby,Kidnapped
Jack Lockerby,Norman's Lament
Jack
Lockerby,Dragon's Quest
Jack Lockerby,Civil Service II
Jack Lockerby,The Escaping Habit
Jack Lockerby,Theme
Park USA
Jack Lockerby,39 Steps (128k only)
Jack Lockerby,The Dark Tower
Jack Lockerby,The Ellisnore
Diamond
Jack Lockerby,Treasure Island
Jack Lockerby,The Mines Of Lithiad
Jack Lockerby,Civil Service
Jack
Lockerby,The Miser
Jack Lockerby,Zen
Jack Lockerby,The Wizard Of Oz
Jack Lockerby,The Citadel
Jack
Lockerby,Bounty Hunter
Jack Lockerby,The Cup
Jack Lockerby,The Hammer Of Grimmold
Jack Lockerby,Into
The Mystic
Jack Lockerby,Lifeboat
Jack Lockerby,Matchmaker
Jack Lockerby,Mutant
Jack Lockerby,Realm
Of Darkness
Jack Lockerby,Witch Hunt
Jack Lockerby,Jack and The Beanstalk
Jack Lockerby,The Islands
of Sinbad
Jack Lockerby,The Challenge
Jack Lockerby,Jade Necklace
James Taylor,Cpl.Stone
Jamie Murphy,The Khangrin Plans (128k only)
Jamie Murphy,The
Pendant Of Logryn (128k only)
Jamie Murphy,Leopold The Minstrel (128k only)
Jamie Murphy,The Bardic Rite
(128k only)
Jamie Murphy,The Final Chorus (128k only)
Jason McHale,Deek's Deeds
Jason McHale,Urban
Jeremy Piper,The Apprentice (128k only)
June Rowe/P.Cardin,Jester's Jaunt
Kane Conway,Lost Twilight (128k only)
Karen Tyers,Ten Green Bottles
Karen Tyers,The Curse of Nimue
Karen
Tyers,Rhyme Crime (128k only)
Karl Bunyan,Dungeon Romp
Karl Bunyan,The Tales Of Mathematica
Karl
Bunyan,The Mapper
Keith Burnard,The Golden Locket
Keith Burnard,Radiomania
Keith
Burnard,The Crystals of Kings
Kez Gray,The Krazy Kartoonist Kaper (128k only)
Laurence Creighton,The Lost Temple
Laurence Creighton,Lost
In Time
Laurence Creighton,The Curse of Calutha
Laurence Creighton,There Is A Bomb Under Parliament
Laurence
Creighton,Laskar's Crystal
Laurence Creighton,The Bermuda Triangle
Laurence Creighton,Beyond Eldorado
Laurence
Creighton,The Mummy's Crypt
Laurence Creighton,Eclipse
Laurence Creighton,Marooned
Laurence Creighton,Behold
Atlantis
Laurence Creighton,The Treasure Of Santa Maria
Laurence Creighton,Flameout
Laurence Creighton,Impact
Laurence
Creighton,The Legacy
Laurence Creighton,The Well Of Zol
Laurence Creighton,The Golden Pyramid
Laurence
Creighton,Meltdown
Laurence Creighton,Laskar's Return
Laurence Creighton,The Fire Ruby
Les Floyd,The Pawns of War
Les Floyd,The Infiltrator
Linda Doughty (Wright),The Beast (128k only)
Linda Doughty
(Wright),Agatha's Folly
Linda Doughty (Wright),The Jade Stone
Linda Doughty (Wright),Cloud 99 (48k and 128k)
Macsoft,The Amulet Of Darath
Mark Cantrell,Diablo (48k and 128k)
Mark Cantrell,Gods Of
War (48k and 128K)
Mark Cantrell,Jester Quest (48k and 128k)
Mark Cantrell,Project Nova
Mark Walker,The Oppressed Land
Mike Jessop,The Slaughter Caves
Palmer P.Eldritch,A Legacy For Alaric
Palmer P.Eldritch,The
Magic Isle
Patrick Walsh,The Case Of The Beheaded Smuggler
S.Boyd,Knight Life (128k only)
Scott Johnson,Lightmare - The Village Of Delvhorn
Sean Vennard,Wizard Quest
Sigmasoft,Elfindor
Square Peg,Aurascope (128k only)
Steve Clay,The Final Demand
Steve Clay,Tax Returns
Steve
Clay,The Taxman Cometh
Sue Medley,The Staff of Power
Traveller In Black,The Violator Of Voodoo
Traveller In Black,Aztec
Assault
Traveller In Black,Phoenix
Traveller In Black,Celtic Carnage
The Balrog,An Everyday Tale Of A Seeker Of Gold
The Balrog,The
Secret Of Little Hodcome
The Balrog,From Out Of A Dark Night Sky
The Balrog,Bulbo And The Lizard-King
The
Balrog,Fuddo And Slam
The Balrog,Retarded Creatures And Caverns
The Balrog,Behind Closed Doors
The
Balrog,Behind Closed Doors 2
The Balrog,Behind Closed Doors 3 - Revenge Of The Ants
The Balrog,Balrog And
The Cat
The Balrog,A Stroll In The Bleak Forest
The Balrog,One Of Those Days
The Balrog,The Elfin
Wars
The Balrog,The Goblin Gazzette
The Balrog,The Goblin Gazzette II
Essential Myth,Dr.Jekyll
And Mr.Hyde (48k and 128k)
Terry Taylor,The Labours Of Hercules
Philip Richmond,Number Six In The Village
S.McClure/I.Smith,Alien Research Centre
S.McClure/I.Smith,The
Hit
Mike Gerrard,One Of Our Wombats Is Missing
Scott Denyer,Arnold The Adventurer
Scott Denyer,Arnold The
Adventurer II
Scott Denyer,Arnold The Adventurer III
Delbert Hamster,Raymond Pringle's Quest For Pickled Cabbage
Delbert
Hamster,Starflaws
Delbert Hamster,Snow Joke
Delbert Hamster,Larry The Lemming's Urge For Extinction
Delbert
Hamster,Desmond and Gertrude
Delbert Hamster,Aunt Velma Is Coming To Tea
Delbert Hamster,Brian The Dishonest
Politician
If you fancy playing any of the above then you could do one of a couple
of things .. either buy the CD/DVD (and make an old man very happy), e-mail me and blag the title of your choice or simply
go to the last page of this little web-site (Cockroach Corner) and download whatever is available from
there - you see, being as how you lot are not buying the stuff in droves , like you used to do , I have been offering
a weekly 'FREE' game for quite a while now. All you have to do is download whichever title is presently
available .. a different one is added EVERY week .. go on, what have you got to lose ????
Retrogamer 35
Had a few moans regarding the "inavailabilty" of issue 35 of the 'Retrogamer'
magazine .. nothing to do with me, sorry! Seems that one or two of you wanted to cast a critical eye over the
interview (with 'yours truly' ) that they printed in that particular issue. Anyway being the old softie that I am here is
the 'original' (fully uncensored) first draft of it .. hope you enjoy ....
1. Why did you decide on setting up a software company?
For a couple of reasons actually ..
a)I was unemployed at the time and
needed some way or earning a living.
b)I had played a few adventure games at this time and thought I could write something
similar (if not better).
c)It seemed the ideal way in which to fulfill both requirements.
d)The whole idea just cropped
up in the middle of a "job-seeker's" interview and when I said "I want to start a Software Company" the look on the interviewer's
face was one to behold. After that I just had to form "Zenobi Software" - if only to satisfy my own curiousity.
2. Why adventure games?
a)I have always been a 'story-teller' and that seemed the ideal way to get
the stories out of my head and into the public view.
b)Also I had played a few and liked what I had played, so it was only
natural that I went along that path.
c)I had no 'programming' experience and therefore I was totally unable to 'code'
my own games. However there were 'writing utilities' out there that enabled anybody to come up with a 'finished product' and
the best of them catered for 'adventure games'.
3. What was the first game you created, how did you come up
with the story,
how did you sell it (where advertised etc) and how well received was it? Did
it sell well?
a)The idea for the game came from a joint affair between myself and a guy
called Richard Hewison. He designed the first five locations and I just took it from there. The rest of the game was made
up as I went along (much in the manner of all the games I ever wrote).
b)The game was advertised in the various 'fanzines'
of the time (Adventure Probe, Spellbreaker, etc) and review copies were sent out to the major magazines (Popular Computing
Weekly, Sinclair User, Crash etc). Advertising leaflets were also sent out to a huge number of individuals, whose names I
had come across during my 'help-line' days.
c)It was well received, both in the 'press' and by the public and sold well.
4. How did you approach the writing of an adventure game? Please
take me
through the manner in which you took your ideas and advanced them to the
finished products.
a)Initially it was just a case of coming up with a nice title and then working
from there. I used to draw a map of the proposed game and list the respective items in the game. I then came up with a batch
of major 'puzzles' to solve and finally tried to link everything into the finished article. This worked well for me in the
beginning but eventually it became a case of find a 'title' sit down and write it as I went along. Many times I had no idea
where the plot was going next or whether anything would work or not. So I spent more time 'playtesting' the games than I actually
did writing them. Once I had reached what I felt was a suitable ending I would replay the game from the beginning to see if
it was 'solvable'. If it was then I would replay it and do my best to 'trip it up'. Finally I would send it out to somebody
whose opinion I held in high esteem and ask them to give it a go. If all went well I would draw a loading screen (or
ask Sean, Kez or Shaun to do one), sort out a 'loader' (generally courtesy of Graham C.) and then compile a 'master-tape'.
All future coies of the game would be produced from this master.
5. Of which game are you most proud and why?
a)Each and every single one of them .. otherwise I would never have released
them to the general public. I would never release anything I was not happy with and would not ask anybody to hand over their
cash for something that I would not have done so myself.
b)If I was to single out a game that I had written personally
then I guess it would have to be 'Behind Closed Doors'. Originally written as a 'filler' for 'side B' of a major release it
was a complete departure from the 'norm' because it all took place in just 'one location'. It was also written in well less
than a week (though the infamous "written in one day" tag is more of an urban myth than true fact).
c)One game that did
cause my head to swell a touch was 'Retarded Craetures & Caverns' but only because it was awarded the coveted 'YS Megagame'
accolade.
6. At what stage did you decide to publish other people's games?
What was
your first submission, how did you rate it?
Eventually it became obvious that income from my 'own' games was not enough
to finance Zenobi. There was too 'long' a gap between releases. So I decided to import other games and sell them under the
Zenobi label. That way I would have a more regular income. So I read through the lastest magazines and checked out the various
reviews of independent releases. I selected one or two of them and approached their authors accordingly. Scott Johnston's
'Lighmare:Village of Delvhorn' was the end result. Scott later went on to greater things - check it out for yourself.
7. What sort of relationship did you have with magazines in
the 1980s and
1990s?
A very good relationship with everyone that I deemed to make contact with.
Over the years I had run various 'helplines' and 'columns' in the likes of 'Soothsayer, Spellbreaker, Probe and Red Herring
(to name but a few) and I was also in contact with the likes of Sinclair User, Crash, C&VG and ZX Monthly. With the 'nationals'
I sent them as many 'tips & hints' for other adventures as I could (I still liked to play the odd adventure - when time
permitted), as well as review copies of all Zenobi releases
8. What did you look for in a good adventure game?
a)A well-written game that was 100% solvable (believe me there were a few
major games that never allowed the player to complete them and that is inexcusable).
b)Reasonable screen presentation.
c)An
interesting and involving 'plot'.
9. How did you view graphics in text-adventures?
a)Very infrequently - that is why they called them 'text-adventures'.
b)Never
thought they were that necessary as a decent writer can 'paint' a good enough picture with the use of words.
c)They tended
to get in the way of the words.
d)Nice enough when they were well done .. e.g. 'Dr.Jekyll & Mr.Hyde' or 'Diablo'.
e)The
only graphics I ever needed were to be found on the 'loading-screen$'.
10. What do you think of more recent adventure games like
Broken Sword which
still have the puzzle elements
but in 3D and with real-time visuals?
a)Nice 'eye-candy' but it is a bit like comparing a book to a video .. they
are totally different things (even if they are relating the same tale).
b)In their own rights they are very good games,
well written etc but they are not for me.
11. You published games for the Atari ST. Why did you decide
to enter this
market?
Sinmply because that was the next machine I purchased. I never bought a
C64 or a CPC (too much like the Speccy and not a big enough step forward technology-wise) I bought an ST and thought it was
time to move on to that platform. I did the self-same thing when I bought an Amiga and a PC. Though in their case I was unable
to write for them so I chose to follow the 'emulation' route instead.
12. Why did you not publish for the C64, CPC etc?
a)I felt that the market was not for me. It was already covered by other
software houses and I saw no need to elbow my way in.
b)Never bought one of those machines and without one I had no way
of programming for them.
c)I did a bit for the Sam Coupe but that was through Dave Whitmore. He converted various titles
and published them (on licence from Zenobi).
13. How old were you when you started Zenobi?
The ripe old age of 35 .. I am now two months short of my 60th birthday
.. enough said!
14. Did your wife help out?
a)My Ann helped out by just being my Ann. She hates computers (and all that
they stand for) with a passion and has never even played one of MY games. She has her own business and it has nothing to do
with computers. However she was the one who spent her own 'lunch-hours' duplicating 'leaflets', 'help-sheets', 'adverts' etc.
b)More importantly she helped by NEVER questioning any decision I made - no matter how it affected her and the kids. I
was left to do whatever I felt was necessary to keep Zenobi up and running, and Ann stood by me for all of it. Just what more
help could you ask for ?
15. How did you operate your company? You mention that you handed
out cash
up front. Why was this?
a)All 'playtesting', 'duplication', 'advertising' and 'distribution' was
handled and paid for by yours truly. None of the authors ever had to put their hand in their pockets for anything.
b)Initially
all releases received an 'advance' payment in receipt of the first 500 copies of their game that was sold. Over the years
as sales dropped, this advance was reduced but nonetheless EVERY game released received an 'advance' payment.
c)All further
sales were then paid for at an agreed rate per copy (varying between 30p to 70p dependent on the game etc). These payments
were paid out on a monthly basis and sent out at the start of each month.
d)All the above payments were agreed via a signed
contract prior to the game being released and copies of this contract were kept by all parties concerned.
e)The reason
I did things this way was because I had alway felt that the authors of this world had been abused in the past (a couple of
of personal experiences when I first started out highlighted this to me) so I tried to ensure that they (the authors) received
the best possible deal at all times.
16. Which authors/programmers do you look back on fondly and
are you still
in touch with them?
a)On the graphics side I have very fond memories of Sean Doran, Shaun McClure
and Kez Gray and am still in touch the latter two. Between them all they produced some excellent 'loading-screen$'.
b)I
was always very fond of the work of Jack Lockerby, Laurence Creighton, Diane Rice, Clive Wilson, Jon Scott, Steve Clay, Jamie
Murphy .. the list is endless .. and I still exchange the odd e-mail with some of them.
c)We were a 'family' but like the
most families we all grow-up, move on and lose contact. However that does not mean that we forget .. we don't!
17. Would you ever consider releasing a new adventure game?
a)Not unless I can go back in time and start all over again. the fingers
are too arthritic for all the typing and the brain has long since lost its sharpness.
B)Every single morning I wake up
.. but then I have my tea/toast and settle for what lies ahead.
18. Are their any anecdotes etc that you would like to share?
What were your
high and low points of running Zenobi?
a)The 'highs' were reading each and every review.
b)The 'lows' were reading
the bank statement at the end of the month and realising I still had a long way to go before 'solvency'.
A Short Tale:
There have been many visitors to no.26, most of them unannounced and quite
out of the blue but each and every one of them has been invited in and offered a cup of tea and a chocolate biscuit .. when
the bank statement was in the 'black'. However one day there was a knock at the door and I opened it to be greeted by a very
smartly-dressed man with some very shiny shoes (more on those later).
"Zenobi Software," he enquired softly.
"Yes" I replied, "Do come in."
"Is this yours ?" he asked, thrusting a couple of sheets of green paper
in my direction.
I grabbed the papers and scanned them quickly. "Yep, that is one of my price-lists"
I smiled.
"Do you have any copies of 'Deep Waters' left ? he smirked.
"Certainly" I said, "I am just parcelling up 50 copies now. They are off
to Dundee this afternoon. Some guy who runs a computer shop has just ordered them. If you had come two minutes earlier I could
have showed you one."
"Does that contain both volume 1 and volume 2 ?" he asked, pointing at the
cardboard-box lying on the kitchen table.
"Sure does," I replied, "Though for some unknown reason Volume 2 sells better
than Volume 1".
"People's tastes" he grinned.
Reaching behind me I picked up the lone cassette lying on the table and
handed it to him. "Here, have this on me. Sorry it only Volume 1." I grunted.
"Thanks, I might be in touch for Volume 2 later" he said. At this point
he turned on his heels and headed for the door.
"Going are you?" I asked.
"Yes, long trip back to Birmingham" he sighed, and then walked out the door
and up the garden path.
As he did so I glanced down, my eyes attracted by his shiny shoes. Suddenly
the realisation hit me - I remembered where I had seen them before - they were regulation Police issue (don't ask me how I
know .. that is another story).
The gent ambled through the gate and was never seen again.
The point to all of this is that I was later to learn that he was from
the Birmingham Vice Squad and had been visiting in connection with the distribution of pornography. Seemingly he had been
sent an anonymous tip-off (and a copy of my latest price-list). It seems that they (the vice-squad) thought that my compilations
of Jack Lockerby adventure-games (Deep Waters 1&2) were actually to do with something referred to in certain circles as
'water-sports' .. though why anybody would want to be p*ssed on is beyond even my fertile imagination!!!
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Zenobi Software * 26 Spotland Tops * Cutgate * Rochdale * Lancashire * OL12 7NX
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