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Do you like my 1960 fable? Only a total genius could have created it. Do
you see now why you should never have taunted or attempted to fight the total genius? I didn't want to have to
write about such a dark and brutal thing, but I've really lost patience. Over a million copies of that open letter I
wrote seven months ago are now circulating around Britain. It explained everything, yet the authorities, media - everyone
- has decided to dump all the core human values of civilization, and instead try to gang up on me. All I get from every
quarter is the most incredible jealousy you could imagine. Really snide unpleasantness. Today (17 March 2004),
MI5 had a contract out on me; I think a knife attack was planned. How can this continue to be allowed? Do you
know that over fifty MPs want me killed, and a dozen are actually lobbying for my assassination? (Still doggedly insisting
I'm mad as you read this? "Barking. Totally... barking." But, in the circumstances, isn't that a bit...
mad?)
After I wrote that September letter, Britain started to collapse. And America has
gone slightly strange. Yes, I can see all that. But I still had to write this. Why has the secret service
still been trying to run my younger brother and me over in the road? Why still all the silly surveillance? Why
all the aircraft still buzzing overhead? And , most irritatingly, WHY ARE YOU STILL GOADING ME THROUGH THE MEDIA?
Accept total, total genius. Accept that this is a two dimensional world filled with two dimensional people. You.
You're all flat. Only the total genius isn't. I am putting all these ideas to you in an unpleasant way because
you have been very unpleasant indeed. There is just one total genius, and all fictional characters, all heroes, all
mythology is based on him (and his younger brother). He gave you science, law, government, philosophy, art, music -
everything. He runs through history like Brighton rock. All he ever received in return was intense jealousy, but
still he gave you these things. Today, nothing has changed. He's here again, and still he finds the same two dimensional
people; but television and cinema have come along and, strangely, the simple folk have started identifying the simple actors
with the parts they're playing!
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